Fathers’ Day is coming. June is a good month for men to meet the biological children they have never met. There are adult children waiting to meet their father and they are a tad bit nervous. They are waiting with questions and the most asked question is: Who are you? There are more questions such as, ‘what do you like?’ And ‘how do I get to know you?’ Their questions and curiosity are the products of their anticipation of meeting you, discovering you, getting to know you, their father.
I found the story of Bruce Jenner’s adult son Brandon reconnecting with and willing to enter into a new relationship with Caitlyn a fascinating read. I applaud all the Jenner children for their acceptance and advise anyone in the same or similar situation: give your Dad a chance. You may discover it isn’t easy being different. Respect a person for their courage to live their life in truth and honesty.
Authentic, sometimes used in the written word, is not an over used word in our daily language. In our present society, we rarely see a person living an authentic life, living in honesty and integrity. Living authentically can be dangerous. It is not popular and in some situations, not wise; it can be detrimental to the lives of the family members of the person living authentically. Caitlyn Jenner was wise in waiting and now her authentic life is a detriment to no one.
There are a few adults who have shared with me their experience in meeting their biological father while they were well into adulthood. One was 60 when she met her dad. These children simply wanted answers to a few questions and they wanted to know their father. They wanted to know if they looked like him or if they had any of his ways or mannerisms
Yes, there are adults who don’t know their biological father but are eager to meet and connect with him. No animosity or hate is involved; they just want to meet their father. Those who have met their father were relieved to finally meet and were content and even thrilled about the time spent with their new parent.
When the father is open and receptive to meeting his children and they are mature and equally receiving, it seems to be a pleasant experience for all. Those who have shared their experience with me have expressed that they had a good or positive encounter. Some got the answers to their questions and were satisfied and others forged a new father-child relationship.
To those fathers out there who have not been in their children’s life and want to make amends with their adult children, take that step (in faith) toward meeting your children. Be prepared to be questioned, be prepared for a challenge, and just be prepared. Prepare yourself with prayer. If you are rejected, (I bet you won’t be) you know you tried. Take that step forward and you may be pleasantly surprised.
You know what? Life happens. Indiscretions are made, poor choices, emotions rule, unplanned absences and prison are some reasons why a man may be absent from his kids’ life. I wish I had a dollar for every vindictive, revengeful woman I’ve met who refused to allow any kind of interaction between her children and their father. Mean mothers are another reason for fathers to disappear. But, when you know better you do better. “When I was a child I talked like a child. When I became a man I put childish ways behind me.” I Corinthians 13:7
May you all have courage and grace and may the Lord be with you. I wish you all a wonderful Father’s Day
Coming: How to prepare for the father-child meeting
Thank you for visiting here. As always, all comments are welcomed.
Hey, don’t go to the meeting empty handed; take some fudge
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