We have a few more days and Father’s Day will be here; the day set aside to honor our fathers and father figures. For some it is just another Sunday, for some it is a yearly event and for some it is a day of dread, a day that drudges up old memories and opens old wounds.
Let’s revisit the father-child meeting to prepare for the first time encounter with your biological father. I have no personal experience in this area but I have given moral and emotional support to others through their journey. Here is a list of dos and don’ts to creating a positive atmosphere and an awesome encounter. I constructed this list from my observations on the sidelines. Remember: these are only suggestions.
Talk to your friend and tell them how you feel about this meeting. Be honest. If you are afraid, say so. If you are angry, scared, nervous, whatever, talk about it to your friend.
Make a list of your questions. Write each question down and take them with you to the meeting. Just in case you get emotional and can’t remember, you can refer to your list.
Have a purpose; know why you are going to the meeting. Do you want to reconnect? Do you want answers? Are you just curious? Do you want a statement or an apology? Do you want to make a statement or an apology?
Don’t arrive with a don’t give a dam attitude; if you don’t care why should anyone else?
You might want to bring momentos, tokens or symbols of special moments in your life. These will be great ice breakers and conversation starters. Pictures, trophies, certificates and degrees, anything that speaks of your accomplishments will make good conversation.
Do make an effort to be pleasant. Don’t arrive with an opinion; give him a chance. Don’t allow anyone else’s attitude to be your attitude.
Make your own decisions, like or dislike him for yourself. You choose to love or not love; don’t allow no one to persuade you in either direction.
I think those who have a forgiving spirit will be fine regardless of how the meeting go. They will forgive, shrug their shoulders, take an ‘ o well ‘ attitude and move on with their life. No matter how the meeting go, I will remind you that there is power in forgiving.
They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. He might like Chicken Soup and biscuits, spaghetti, chicken and dumplings, or maybe just some coffee and cake. I recommend something for his stomach. For more good recipes and journal exercises go here.
I would love to hear about your experience in meeting your father for the first time. Have a good meeting and may Divine Love be with you. 🙂